On the river
Well, yes, it seems that we do! This is a picture of the latest, two Scottish fold kittens. This is a strain of the folds that Lon’s family has been raising for some time. We do have one old male, but no new kittens. No names just yet.
No, they don't need to be washed!
We had a run in with pirates from Monrovia yesterday. They didn’t look like the sort of pirates you might expect, just a younger and older man out on the river. The problem is that they were in our boats, or at least boats belonging to people who have moorage with us. So Lon went down and barked at them, telling them to get the boats back where they belonged. The younger man was apologetic, claiming that he had been told by someone there that he could use the boat. The older man did apologize, but also took longer to bring the canoe back in. We did not call the sherrif, but the threat was made.
Lon has already lost a boat motor to them, which was “borrowed” to move another boat. They are supposed to replace it, but who knows? Things do turn up missing at the river. And I’m sure it made perfect sense to them to grab a boat just sitting there. It’s still piracy.
It’s been wonderfully warm this week. We drove out to Stabler Thursday (my day off this week) and moved my old Mazda and a load of stuff. I am getting close to closing things out there. I suspect there’s a pickup load still at the house. I closed my post office box out and set my mail to forward. It looks like that chapter of my life is about to be closed. I also noticed a funeral notice for a church member. She was a older lady with health problems, so it wasn’t totally unexpected. I always enjoyed talking to her.
I think we are going to try and go out this coming Sunday to finish things up. Lon has asked to go to the church with me. He is a bit concerned about how he’ll be received but I think that will go just fine. I am so grateful to the folks at that church, the support and love they’ve given me. I worry about how they are going to carry on. I just don’t know how I can help.
We are trying to get some of my stuff ready to sell. The pickup and trailer are going. I was going to sell my old Mazda, but am now thinking about selling the little Mazda instead. I bought it as a backup car. It’s not bad, but it’s just not as good as the old Mazda. (It’s funny that I call them that. The little Mazda is an ‘87. The old Mazda is a ‘95.) Plus, there are so many memories tied up with the old Mazda. It’s just hard for me to let go of it. I guess I’ll see what happens. We are not making a lot of progress on the boat right now. I am still hopeful that we can get some improvements in place and maybe move out to the river over the summer. I’m just happy to finally get moved out of the woods.
I guess, in a way, I spent the day appropriately I went through the trailer, to try and take out everything that I want to keep. We are going to clean it up and sell it. I couldn’t bear to live in it again. Even now, with things in a mess and most of my stuff moved out, it still has too many memories. The new relationship is strong and I am working on building a new life. Some days are more difficult than others.
Since I was down at the river, I took some pictures.
From the dock
Lon on the dock
Top of the dock
It was beautiful today on the river
More decorations at the top of the dock
Looking out towards the river
Yet another picture of the dock
Looking down the dock towards the houseboats
Picture of the 2 story houseboat, river side
The 2 story house boat from the other side
The river, from the deck of the 2 story houseboat
The Aqua Home still needs a bath
The West Wind belongs to Lon's son
Looking up the drive from the dock to the trailer
We went to the Depoe Bay Wooden Boat Festival a few weeks ago. I posted the pictures of the boats to the Yahoo Group for the Coots, but had these personal pictures that didn’t get posted. These were taken at Boiler Bay, which is near Depoe Bay. It’s just a nice view of part of the Oregon coast. So here you go.
This is called Boiler Bay
Another picture of Boiler Bay
Third view of Boiler Bay
Last view of Boiler Bay
Me, at the beach
Lon, at the beach
These were taken the day after we moved the boat, on April 5th. Sorry for the long delay.
The dock at the river place
View from the flying bridge
Along the riverside
The deck just below the flying bridge
View of the top of the two story houseboat
View from the flying bridge toward the front
From the side, looking towards the West Wind
From the front deck
From the front, towards the river
Inside, looking towards the front deck
The galley section
More galley
Aft, where the repairs must be made
Me, taking a picture of me in the head
The aft area
Looking out the back window
Picture of one engine, just because
closet in the aft
The bilge
I keep meaning to post some pictures of the boat in place as well as pictures of the Depoe Bay Wooden Boat show. But I have not managed to find time to upload them. Will try to do that in the next day or so. The site needs some pictures.
I managed to move a load of things from the house at Stabler into town. I am still going to be staying at Lon’s house in town, until we can get the boat ready to live in. It’s going to be crazy. Due to the son, girlfriend, and grandson staying at the house, plus birds, kittens and bassett hound, there is not enough room to let the cats loose in the house. So we are keeping them back in the bedroom, probably in large dog carriers for part of the day. It’s not an ideal situation but will work for awhile. We’ll try to get a more permanent place for them as soon as we can. It will be so nice to finish this move.
We went out last Sunday, after moving things on Saturday. Took Lon out to see where I used to live and the beaver ponds at the house. It was odd. At the old place, Lon could tell that I was getting upset, although I didn’t feel like it at first. So we didn’t stay long. It looks so sad and shabby right now, with the porch vacant and the doors open. The beaver ponds were a better trip. There are a lot of trees down on the path, but we were able to walk down for a look. I will miss that walk. I wish I had taken the dogs for a last trip. I plan to spread Jeffrey’s ashes out there this weekend. I think he would like that. And it is a place that I will be able to visit over the years.
In boating news, I am now part owner of an outboard motor. We went to a swap meet and picked it up. It’s a fairly small Johnson from the 50s. Lon was given a small boat that can use a motor. This should give us something to cruise around the slough. Lon does like my canoe, which seems to be a Radisson, rebranded by Sears. He has an electric motor that should work on it. If the weather will ever warm up, we can have some real fun. We are also talking about taking out his small sailboat. It needs a motor, but is a beautiful thing. He promised it to his son, but it is not being cared for. It would be fun to take that one out to the ocean for a cruise. We just might try that one of these days. I have a few pictures of that boat, which I’ll try and post too.
I got the word yesterday that Pastor George Hollenberry had died of a heart attack. He was the pastor of the Little Church in the Valley, the church I attended. He was a good friend to Jeffrey and I. Jeffrey used to take him out on hikes through the woods and I know Pastor loved the idea of John’s Boys, the men’s group Jeffrey started. When I learned of Pastor’s death, all I could think about was that he and Jeffrey are now hiking together again, free from pain now.
When Jeffrey first got sick, Pastor gave me $100 out of his own pocket, so that I would have gas money to go see Jeffrey. I’m sure that he also got the church to give me funds to pay for funeral expenses. He went to see Jeffrey twice in the hospital and would have gone more often if he could. He was there with me, when I got word that Jeffrey had died. I’ll never forget his kindness to me. And I feel terrible for his wife Mary, as I know the pain she must have now. At least he had his family around him when he died.
Pastor was a true Christian, the kind that live out that life, not just preach about it. He always told us that we should support and encourage each other. He always tried to encourage faith in those that didn’t know Christ. He didn’t hesitate to do unpleasant work when needed. When the church basement would flood, as it did every year, it was Pastor that would wade in with a sump pump to clear things out. The church suffered a loss when Jeffrey died. It suffered a blow when we lost Pastor. I do not know how we can even come up with another pastor. There’s no way that anyone could replace him.
I had a vacation of sorts, with perfect weather. We went down to Depoe Bay for the Wooden Boat show. We intended for it to be a day trip, as I had the dogs at the house. We met up with friends and they were staying at a condo in Newport, bay side. Since they had a two bedroom condo, they invited us over to spend the night. Got someone to take care of the dogs for the night and we were set. We had a great seafood diner and a nice visit. Drove back up highway 101 for awhile and played at being tourists. It really did feel great.
At long last, I am ready to move out of the mountains. I’m not quite ready to move to the boat yet, as we are still working on getting it in shape. So, for now, I’m going to move the cats down to the river. Likely they will be put up in the two story houseboat, next to our boat, for now. We plan to fix that up and use it for overflow space in any case. They will be comfortable there. And I will be staying, for now, at Lon’s place in town. I’m already spending about four nights a week there, so that won’t be anything new. I’m hoping to finish the move by the first part of May, when I have a three day weekend to work on this.
I don’t have any sadness over this, other than I will miss my church friends. The dream I had up there has gone and any good feelings vanished with our “friend’s” decision to screw me out of the down payment I put in on the place. I am considering legal action against him. I’m tired of dealing with the snow and cold alone. I’m ready to move towards a new life. But I am leaving Jeffrey’s ashes behind, down by the beaver pond. I don’t think he would want to accompany me into town. And this will be a place I can come back and visit later on. Today is the six month anniversary of his death. My old life truly died with him. I have to go forward with my new life. The blessing is that I have a new partner that truly understands what it is like to lose your spouse. We are both amazed at our good fortune and happiness. We still talk about Jeffrey and his wife every day. Yet we are both truly happy to have met. I guess life sometimes works out that way.
I posted these on the Messabout list, so thought I should share them here as well.
We are finally ready to move the boat. It’s scheduled for Saturday and I’ll try to see if I can get some pictures. I moved my Silver Streak down to the river on Friday. I’m about done with the old place. I’m going out tomorrow to give it one last look and see what I missed moving. Then I’ll be done with it. I wish I could be sad about this. I’m sad about losing Jeffrey, not losing the place. After dealing with the snow on my own, I’ve had enough of it. We are finally seeing the last of it melt up at the house.
Life has been okay. I spent a week in town, while the boyfriend was sick. It’s a long commute to work, but most of it is on the freeway. It wasn’t bad. I’m back at the house and I think the dogs want to catch up on their sleep. They spend the day outside in town and they just don’t sleep as well. The old dog is really failing and I don’t think she has many months left. I don’t think she could handle boat life, in any case. I’ll just have to see how it goes.
More than anything else, I want to have a place where I feel like I’m at home. The boyfriend’s house will never be that place. The house in the mountains isn’t mine and the cats seem to have taken it over in my absence. I can’t live in the trailer any more. I don’t know what I will do, if life on the boat doesn’t work out. It seems to be my future and I can’t see anything else. I am going to try and go through the things I moved and see what I can get rid of. I have some ideas on how to decorate the inside of the boat. I just need the money and time to do the work.
They don’t live with me any more, but they are still having kids! Here’s Lily with her two brand new kids.
Lily was bred to a mini-nubian buck so these kids should be small goats. This is her second kidding and I’m happy to see that it went well. One last goat picture. These are Scamper’s latest:
I had really great news last week. The state is going to cover Jeffrey’s medical expenses! This is a huge relief for me. I was looking at around $170,000 in medical bills. I will still have some odds and ends to clear up and that will be hard enough. The second bit of good news is that I’ve moved most of my things over at the place. I took the stuff I wanted out of the sheds. I still need to move the trailer and a few more things. I’m hoping to do that on Saturday. Once that’s complete, I will be done with the place Jeffrey and I were buying. It’s been difficult, because the old “friend” screwed me out of everything I put into it. He won’t sell the place and is letting his son have it. So the $9,300 that I put into it as a down payment is lost. I have been through such hell since Jeffrey died that the loss of the money is almost trivial. I could use it and the “friend” knows it. I hope he gets the reward he deserves.
The boyfriend has been sick, so no progress on the boat. We are talking about paying to have it moved. It’s taking too much time to get the engines in working condition. It will have to be done, but not today. It’s costing us to keep it moored and it needs to be moved. So we are trying to scrape up the money to do that, hopefully this week as well. Once it’s moved, we can work on the interior and get it ready to be lived in. I would like to be out of the church’s house by the end of April, if possible. I feel pretty scattered with things the way that they are. I’ve been spending four days in town at the boyfriend’s and three days at the house with the cats. There’s just no way to move the cats into his house. If we can get the worst of the heavy work done on the boat, I could move the cats into it and then start moving me up to town. So I will see how it goes. I am going to start going through all the stuff that was in the shed and see what I have that I need to get rid of. I will feel better when I purge things. I am thinking about bringing over all that fleece I bought for the yurt project. I wasn’t going to bother, but I think I will, if I have time. I’d like to do some felting and it would be good to have something made from that stuff.
I still don’t know what direction my life without Jeffrey will take. The new relationship seems pretty solid. I’m happier than I have been. I still miss Jeffrey and likely always will. It seem strange, after all those years together, to be with a new man. We have all these stories yet to tell each other. We’ve shared so much. And really, I have to learn how to be my own self, to stand on my own. I don’t have to live alone to do that. I do have to learn what it means to live without that very solid marriage I had. I’ve taken off the wedding rings I used to wear and am wearing a small turquoise ring, to remind myself that I am single. The boyfriend and I have a tendancy to fall into that “old married couple” thing. It’s comfortable and one day, we may be exactly that. For now, I need to remind myself that the relationship is new and fresh.
The dogs have been doing okay. I suspect that I will have to put Tessie down in the next month or so. She has cancer, with a big tumor hanging down from the underarm area. She’s starting to get thin. She doesn’t see, hear, or walk well any more and is incontinent. I am hoping to get her to some warm weather, but I feel like the end may be near. It will be sad, but I would like to bury her on the Denne place. I will likely leave a bit of Jeffrey’s ashes with her. I think he’d like that.
I am SO ready for spring. We had a pretty good melt going. Then it decided to snow a few inches. It’s melting again, but still…I am ready for warmer weather. I’m planning to try and move the last of my things off the place next week and try to sell the trailer. Then I want to figure out what it will take to move into Vancouver. I’d like to be down there by April, which is not that far off. Mainly, I need a place for the cats. They are inside cats and we haven’t quite figured out a way to move them in. If the boat were ready, I could move there, but we are still working on it. I will find out how things are progressing tonight. I want to finish up some of the loose ends from the old life and get started on the new one.
There are bulbs in bloom in the lowlands. I’ve had roses in the bedroom, but those finally died. So I bought a few bulbs for the room today; a primrose, narcissis, and small iris. I have four cheap rose bushes to plant too. I just have that need to work with growing things for awhile.
Oh, and to show that I’m still a geek, I picked up a Palm Tungsten C last week from Free Geeks. Great price! These have a built in wifi and a larger than normal battery with 64MB of RAM. It’s a screamer. I just couldn’t resist it, although I’d sworn off on geek toys. The only thing it lacks is a camera. I guess if I ever upgrade my cell phone, I’ll just get one that has a decent camera. I might still pick up a Palm Centro for my phone. I still like Palms.
Dogs are doing fine, as are the cats. My goats have been kidding in their new home, out East. I’m adjusting to the loss of that dream. I think the reason that people have problems adjusting to the loss of a spouse is that the old dreams have died but there are no new ones to take their place. I am trying to dream those new dreams now. As I start to see them come to life, I will feel more confident about the future.
I’ve decided to get rid of the opening page and have my blog directly at notsothoreau.com. So here you are.
We went out to the boat again on Sunday. We’ve got new batteries for the engines. The starters are going to be rebuilt this week. One of the carburetors is shot, so we will need to replace that. If we can get one engine working, that will be enough to move it. We’ve been trying to sort out what work needs to be done immediately. I am hoping to move in by April. I am spending half the week in town and the other half out at the house in the woods. I need to get settled in somewhere. This just is too hard emotionally. The dogs seem to enjoy the time in town, and then spend the time in the woods catching up on their sleep. There is a fenced yard in town, so they get to spend a lot of time outside there.
As for how my life is going, well some days I just don’t know. I seem pretty happy in town, when I’m with the boyfriend. When I’m back out in the woods, it gets lonely. The amount of stuff to deal with is overwhelming. I am in a mess with the “friend” who was supposedly selling us the place in the woods. He is reluctant to put it up for sale, which means I have no chance to recover any of the money I put down on the place. He is trying to prevent me from removing the rest of my personal property, like the trailer. He can’t prevent me from doing that legally, but it does make things messy. I have tried to be conciliatory, but simply can’t afford to give him any more money on the place. And I’m angry about the whole mess. Jeffrey got sick taking him to the VA Hospital. I really don’t feel like I owe the man anything else.
The other issue of course are medical bills. I have a ton of them. I put in for the WA state medical insurance back when Jeffrey got sick. It took until January before they denied it at the first level. It’s now up at the disability office. I had to go in and give them a copy of the death certificate this morning. The woman that took it remembered working with Jeffrey back at the Nursery. Little things like that are always hard. I don’t know how that will turn out.
And then there are the usual issues in a new relationship. I have to remind myself how little time I’ve been in this relationship and how long I was married in the old one. It’s tough. We seem to connect well and get along well enough. But I am dealing with a different person and I have become someone different. Both of us have been dealing with grief and the loss of our spouse. It’s complex. I think that it will all get easier with time. We need to see what our relationship looks like. It’s still developing.
Okay, so pictures of the soon to be Grace O’Malley (named after a famous Irish woman pirate). She is currently on the Oregon side in a marina, as we try to get the engines running to bring her home. I think I am going to like living in this boat. There’s a major amount of work to be done yet. I may not be able to move in until April. After life in the trailer, this seems spacious. Fortunately, the head (bathroom) is one of the areas where we are going to need to redo the walls. That means we can build out a useable shower. I am truly tired of tiny bathrooms. The plan is to find and fix the leaks, repair the walls, and put something down on the floors. The wood work up front will also need work, but that can be done while we live in it. We also need to get the wiring sorted out and get the generator running. Lots of stuff to be done, I know. When I was out there on Sunday, it was an amazing thing to walk around in the boat, watch the fishermen come in and look at the other boats in the water. I can imagine sitting out front, under the cover at the table, and doing my morning journaling. I know how small spaces fill up fast, once you start moving in. And the dogs and cats will make it livelier yet. I can’t wait to start coming home to this.
My soon to be home
Looking out at the front of the boat
Seating area forward
Looking out at the galley
This is the bedroom area
The engine room
Side of the boat
As I think I’ve mentioned before, I’m planning to move to Vancouver come spring. The problem is that the boyfriend has his son, son’s girlfriend and 7 month old baby already at the house. He has property on the river, but the trailer there is occupied. So we have been looking for solutions. There are a couple of old houseboats on the place, in bad need of repair. They can’t be lived in as there are no arrangements for sewage.
Enter craigslist, where he found an ad for a 1969 Chris-craft Aqua Home. This is a 46′ houseboat, designed to be lived in on water. It has two 327 engines and can cruise if you want. This one needs work, so the price was right. We had to wait a bit, as there was an offer ahead of us. That guy bailed out and we are now the owners of the boat (or will be when we finish paying it off over the next few years). The first problem is to move it down to the moorage that Lon owns. He knows someone with a tug who can move it. (The engines work but it hasn’t been started for awhile. Seems safer to have someone move it across river from the Oregon to Washington side.) Once we have it in place, we’ll start interior repairs. It had water leak into the walls, so there is panelling to be replaced. As soon as we can make it liveable, I start moving in. I am already spending weekends in town and commuting the long drive to Hood River on days I need to work. I take the dogs with me. It will be easier when I get the cats moved over and all my stuff. I have so much to do that it is dizzying. I’m still happy over it. I won’t pretend that there haven’t been a few bumps along the way, in this new relationship. It’s hard to start over. Still, he makes me happy and I think I am going to like river life. I am going to try and get some pictures in the next couple of days to post, so stay tuned.
The weather has finally moderated a bit. The roads up to home were icy, but hopefully will be a bit better tonight. I was stunned to pull into the drive and discover that they pushed back the berm, leaving a parking place next to the road. Why, I have no idea. It sure makes it easier to back into my spot. Of course, with the ice, I am back to throwing chains under the tires to drive that foot up to the road.
I am starting to spend my weekends in town. I take the dogs with me, leaving the cats home with food. I hope this phase doesn’t last all that long. It feels a bit crazy. I am hoping for more snow melt this week, enough to get my little car back on the road and start moving stuff out of my place. I need to get the trailer out somehow. I also need to clear out the sheds. If I can get it all moved over, then I’ll be done with that place. It’s going to be hard to do, but necessary. I can’t live there alone and I can’t afford to make payments on it. It’s a dream that ended when Jeffrey died.
I henna’ed my hair last week. I enjoyed the grey, but decided that I needed a newer, younger look. It may be from having a boyfriend, I don’t know. Lots of changes coming up in the near future. I guess that’s the way it goes. I hope I can find time to do some visiting soon too.
As you know, Jeffrey died in October. That first night I was in the ICU, I was sitting in the waiting room talking to Ginger as the nurses did some things to him. A man stopped by to chat. His wife was down the hall in the ICU, fighting lung cancer and pnuemonia. We talked about goats and parrots, medical proceedures. Over the time Jeffrey was in the ICU, I would bump into this man and we would talk. It was a strange thing. It felt like a bubble of normalcy would surround us. We were going through the same hell, with the same doctors. He’d been married for 21 years, so it was just as difficult for him as it was for me. On the 12th, I talked to him in the ICU, on his way for a family meeting to take his wife off the ventilator. She died that night. I had to make the same decision for Jeffrey the next day.
We kept in touch by email and phone, with long phone calls talking about the things that had happened to us. There were no defenses between us, as neither of us had the energy to lie. We talked about our spouses and tried to make sense of the terrible thing that had happened. The memorial services were a day apart. He wanted to come out to talk to me, but it didn’t happen. He went silent for a couple of weeks. I continued to send emails. He finally let me know that he was attracted to me, but felt that I would not be ready for advances like that. We continued to talk and went to the Art Museum together. There were sparks there, for sure. Things began to heat up between us.
We’ve gone through a couple of bad spots in our relationship and every time, it deepens. It’s blossomed into love, for both of us. It’s still terribly early after the death of our spouses and that may be why we have this fast and faster relationship. When you’ve had a loved one die suddenly, it gives your life an urgency. And that is what seems to be happening now. I don’t want to take things slowly. And so, come spring, I will be leaving the mountains and moving back to the flatlands, by the big river. I have a lot of loose ends to wrap up. I’ll miss the place, in many ways. I miss Jeffrey each day and always will. I can’t make much sense out of this all. I just know that even in sorrow, I have this new relationship that brings me so much joy.
